You can't motorboat a personality
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
