There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Let's get the cat blown out
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
