just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
