I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
