Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
