and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
