Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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