We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
