i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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