ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
