is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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