Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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