He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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