weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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