Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
