turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
