Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
