I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
