i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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