Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
