Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
don't judge my taste in strippers
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize