No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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