Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
