whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
