Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
