Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
