This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
