The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
