I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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