Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
