What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
