The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
