goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
