Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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