...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
