he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
