He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
