Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize