3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
