my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
