I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
