tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
false alarm, still single
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