Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
