what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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