And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
