He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
