we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
