I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
