that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
