we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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