Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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