i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
