dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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