He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize