margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
