I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
