i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize