Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
