i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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