I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
