I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
