Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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