I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
