I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
