I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
