whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
