You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
