i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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