I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
