her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
