Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
