So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
