there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
