Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Boobs speak an international language.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
