We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
