I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
