remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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