Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
